I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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