So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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