I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
But break dance skills will only take you so far
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
