Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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