when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
