The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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