dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
