Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
