Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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