You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
