we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
