mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
