I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
