Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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