Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Let's get the cat blown out
We're too hungover to prance.
Who died my cat blue again?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
