I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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