Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Then you guys just all showered together...?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
