DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Girls should come with a carfax report
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
