Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
