Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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