Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
