Swine flu. Run for my life!
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
