went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
