Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
