meet me or not, i'm out of control
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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