i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
