Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
