Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
