im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
