Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
