i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
