Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
