Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
