She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
