OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
