This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
