Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
