I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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