I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
