I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize