is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
