his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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