The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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