a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
