I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I wish i was in the wii world.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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