Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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