she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
