When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
