If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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