Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
The air taste purple.
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