The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
