Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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