idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
