Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I can text with my tongue
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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