i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
